Looking for a job-Should I tell my potential employer I stutter?

Happy New Year to all. Hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable New Year's Eve. I watched Dick Clark every year for the sake of tradition. I couldn't help but to admire this man who had a stroke. He was working so diligently at pronouncing his words and being understood. I was so glad to see him on TV. After all, what is New Year's Eve without Dick Clark?

I have recently gotten many calls from adults out of work. It is a tough economy and my heart goes out to those who are suffering. My husband was out of work several years ago and it was a very difficult time in our lives. Many have asked me my opinion disclosing the fact they stutter on an initial or phone interview. I thought I would share a story with you concerning my second job after I received my masters degree many years ago.
I will start off with my first job out of school. When I graduated in 1992, there were more jobs than speech pathologists. I interviewed at UCP and got to the interview two hours early. I went into a coffee shop and literally breathed for two hours. The precision of my speech tools was still rough at that time so I knew my fluency would be shaky at best. When I went into the room I was approached by two women (two was always harder than one). They seemed very pleasant and when I started to answer their questions, I started blocking. I immediately explained that I stutter and had to use certain tools to talk. I was so nervous that I can't say if I used my fluency tools of easy onsets and continuous phonation, but the self disclosure improved my fluency. They said they wanted to do outreach on stuttering for preschool children and liked my experience with developmentally delayed adults. They offered me the job two days later. It was a wonderful experience. My colleagues knew I stuttered and respected me for it. At that time I was dating my husband and he lived up in Binghamton ( I lived on LI). The strain of a long distance relationship was starting to become difficult so I decided to move upstate after 4 months of working and look for a job. As I said, at that time there were many speech jobs. I sent out resumes and had 3 interviews set up within two weeks. I interviewed at a few places and was hired by a rehabilitation site. It sounded like a great opportunity. They treated children and adults with other speech pathologists on staff who seemed supportive and educated. I thought it would be a terrific learning environment. One huge problem, I was fluent on this interview and never even thought to mention my stuttering. I quickly moved upstate and starting working. I should mention that the woman who interviewed me was a SLP who had worked in the field for over 12 years. Everything was fine until my mother n law unfortunately became very ill with cancer. My then fiance had to spend many days on LI with his mother and I was alone in a strange city and a new job. Within a few weeks, my stuttering increased and I started to have difficulty maintaining fluency during speech and language evaluations with parents. Yes, it is true-I stuttered during these evaluations. Looking back I should have been open and honest with these parents, but I still was experiencing shame about stuttering. One day I got called into my boss' office. I will call this woman Anna. Anna abrubtly told me that two parents had inquired about my stuttering and it would not be tolerated. I told her I stuttered and was trying to work on my fluency. I also told her my future mother n law was terminal and it was very stressful. She told me that this was a for profit rehabilitation facility and they would not tolerate losing money. I looked at her and promised that I would try to improve my fluency.(this was ridiculous because I was selling my sole to the devil so to speak) This was the beginning of what I now call mental and verbal abuse, but also a very painful situation I learned from. She kept harrassing me and telling me I had to be fluent. She always made sure her office door was closed and we were alone when she spoke to me. Guess what? As you might have guessed my fluency decreased. I decided to practice 45 minutes a day and I will say after a month it really helped. My easy onsets and full breaths were back and my fluency improved. Anna was always testing me, but I did excel. She would come to school district meetings with me and listen to my fluency. I was very fluent and also spoke very well. I was not going to let her win. No Way!!!!! The situtations that were hardest for me were weekly department meetings because I felt like the speech pathologists were always judging my expertise based upon how fluent I was. At that time, I had a supervisor for my clinical fellowship year (this is needed to get your permanent license). This woman was always being pressured by Anna to make sure I was fluent. I would have left sooner but I promised myself I would finish and get my permanent license no matter what. To make a very long story short, I became permanently licensed, married my husband, and my mother n law unfortunately passed away before we got married. (That was worse than any stuttering).

When I got back from my honeymoon, my supervisory period was almost over. My immediate supervisor told me Anna was bad mouthing me while I was gone but knew I could invoke the American Disability Act if she fooled around with termination related to stuttering. I had talked to a lawyer at that point and didn't hide the fact. A month later I became permanently licensed and interviewed at Boces by a wonderful special education administrator named Elaine. She hired me on the spot. I was mostly fluent during this interview, but had learned my lesson. I said that I wasn't sure if she noticed that I stuttered, but wanted her to know it is the reason I became a speech pathologist. I also added that it didn't interfere with my job. She looked at me with warm compassion and said she wasn't worried and figured that was why I chose the profession. She also said it was why she was hiring me. I worked there for over a year before I moved back to LI. I went to meetings, worked with children who stutter, had articulation issues and learning disabilities. I have to say this woman was wonderful to work for. She had compassion I had never seen before. I went to meetings and spoke not only fluently, but effectively. Did I ever stutter? Sure I did, but I wasn't ashamed of it.

In conclusion, we have to accept who we are. I do suggest educating your interviewer on the fact that you stutter, but I also don't suggest dwelling on it. They are there to here what you can offer their company. I will never work for or with anyone again who doesn't accept me for who I am. I do not and will not judge my self worth on how fluent my speech is, however, I learned that I wanted to be as fluent as I could be. That is why I never gave up. This is why I teach more fluency shaping tools than stuttering modification tools. I am open to whatever helps my clients, but I don't think you should think that improved fluency isn't possible. This is why I talk to the teens especially projecting their voice with confidence, densitizing themselves to talking on the phone and education their parents and friends. I try to give all children and adults an increased sense of self worth and control of their lives. I hope I can provide postitive memories of successful speaking situations. Anyway, you are probably tired of hearing me lecture by now. I would love to hear from others regarding this topic. Again, happy and healthy New Year to you and your family. I look forward to reading your comments as always.

Stuttering in Children -Helpful tips for parents-Parent Magazine

THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED IN PARENTS MAGAZINE IN 2007. I AM REPRINTING DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND.

STUTTERING IN CHILDREN...
HELPFUL TIPS FOR PARENTS..
by Lori Melnitsky, MA CCC-SLP

What is stuttering? What causes it? Although, the exact cause is unknown, there are known environmental factors that contribute to stuttering. Ideally, it is the goal of working with young children who stutter to eliminate disfluencies while involving parents in the process. Stuttering is an interruption of the continuous flow of speech. It can be characterized as prolongations (sssssssssnake), repetitions of words (I I I want milk) or phrases (I want I want milk), frequent use of filler words (uh, um), blocking (silence and struggle before saying a word).

Between the ages of 2 and 5, many children experience stuttering. This is often considered a period of normal disfluencies. Why? One reason is that children are still coordinating their speech patterns and acquiring language during this stage. Will these children outgrow it? The majority will, but there is no way of knowing for sure. This is why consulting a speech/language pathologist at the onset is vital.

Did you know that approximately 1 % of the population stutters? Additionally, 4 out of 5 people who stutter are male. Many times there is a family member who stutters. One known fact is that parents are NOT at fault. Also, stuttering is not a contagious disease. No one will start to stutter if they hear another person stuttering.

What are some of the characteristics of normal developmental disfluencies?

1. The child does not exhibit struggle behaviors (such as kicking his foot) or display awareness of how they sound.
2. Disfluent moments can disappear and then unexpectedly reappear days or months later.
3. The child is not avoiding speaking situations or displaying frustration.
4. Easy repetitions of words and short phrases.

When does stuttering become more of a concern?

1. Children who are at risk usually exhibit struggle behaviors while forcing words out (such as unusual breathing patterns, or facial grimacing).
2. They often avoid feared words or speaking situations. Fear and frustration is often visible.
3. Saying “I don’t know” often in response to obvious questions or changing words. These are forms of avoidance.
4. Using filler words often (like, um, uh).
5. Prolongations of sounds (ssssssssnake). Stuttering might become longer in duration.
6. Change in intonation patterns (rising pitch during the period of stuttering).
7. Blocking on words, such as opening mouth with no audible sound coming out. Disruptions in breathing patterns.
8. Stuttering becomes more frequent.


What do you do if you suspect your child is stuttering?

1. Seek out the help of a speech/language pathologist experienced with stuttering. Often, doctors and family members will say ”Wait, the child will grow out of it”. This is often incorrect and increases tension in the family. Always consult with a SLP for advice. They may monitor the child or provide parents with information to help their child. They might use a direct therapeutic approach with the child or with both the child and parents.
2. Be a good listener--pay close attention to what is being said NOT how it is being said. Look directly into the child’s eyes to show that you are truly listening to the message.
3. Reduce questioning. This will decrease demands placed on the child.
4. Avoid putting the child in the spotlight-ex: “Tell Aunt Sue what you did in school today”. This puts too much pressure on the child.
5. Avoid comments like talk slower. Try and model a slow relaxed natural sounding speech pattern. (This is difficult. SLPs will demonstrate this for you).
6. Delay responding to allow for more pauses and reduce time pressure for the child.
7. Don’t ask the child to repeat the sentence. It will only increase awareness and frustration.
8. Most importantly, don’t panic!!! Although we can’t identify who will eventually stop stuttering, we can give advice to parents on how to talk to a child who stutters and model the appropriate way to respond.
9. Remember it is not your fault. Parents are NOT to blame.

All of these strategies will be easier to follow once you have met with a speech/language pathologist.

There are also more direct therapy approaches available if stuttering persists. For the school aged child who continues to stutter, there is still hope. Although the chances of outgrowing stuttering decrease after age 6, there are strategies available to improve communication and decrease stuttering. Children at this age often become highly aware of being different from their peers. It is important to work with a SLP on not only speech strategies, but ways to handle everyday speaking situations.

Remember parents your words, are like candy to a child. They eat them up. Be kind, patient and loving. Most importantly, consult a speech/language pathologist if you suspect your child is stuttering.

For more information, please contact Lori Melnitsky. Lori is a speech language pathologist (SLP) who stuttered severely as a child and specializes in treating children and adults who stutter in Plainview, NY. She is available for therapy, parent workshops at schools, consultations, and presentations at local universities. She is the chapter leader of the National Stuttering Association Adult and teen chapters on LI and founder of the LI Stuttering Connection. She is in private practice and treats children and adults who stutter as well as other speech and language disorders. Lori can be contacted at 516-776-0184 or via e-mail: Lori@allislandspeech.com (www.allislandspeech.com)

Happy and Healthy 2010!

May we all judge our self worth not by how much we stutter or are fluent, but by who we really are inside. If you choose improved fluency as a goal, I am here to tell you it is possible. Peace to all!!

Continuous phonation-How important is it to fluency?

I am back. I didn't think I would get a chance to write another blog before 2010, but I got up early today and had time.

I was recently reading an article about continuous phonation and linking words together. As many of you know, I am a graduate of the Precision Fluency Shaping program. I teach many of the skills I learned along with cognitive modifications and some stuttering modification tools. It was a wonderful program and I recommend it if you live in Virginia. I would recommend either follow up by a local SLP weekly, practice groups or even me via a webcam. The carryover is the tricky part. I like doing this program on consecutive weekends with older teens and adults in groups of 2, 3 or 4.

Getting back to continuous phonation. Many times when I am working with people who stutter, I will close my eyes as I am linking my words together. I don't do this in real life situations, but in exaggerated practice. Why, because it allows me to feel the vibration on the voiced sounds (ex: vowels,and consonants: b, d, g, j, l, m, n, r, v, w, x, y, z). If you put your hand to your throat and contrast cognates g (guh) and K (kuh), you will feel the guh is voiced and a buzzing will occur as your vocal folds meet. This doesn't happen for kuh (unvoiced sound) so you would have to feel the vibration on the vowel. This is how an easy onset starts. People who are naturally fluent do not break up their words and sentences. The sentences and words flow together. In the early years I was so jealous of this. Such an easy task, but so difficult for people who stutter. Later on , I realized I had to almost examine and dissect fluent speech to change my dysfluent speech patterns and treat others who stutter. When my clients link their words together, they are generally increasingly fluent. Many times this has to start with adequate full breath breathing. If you start to exhale all your air and then talk, stuttering and tension will occur. If you don't take in enough air, words will sound pushed and struggle will occur. This is why people who block in the laryngeal area have silent blocks when air capacity is reduced. I know this is hard to visualize in writing. I will try and make a you tube video tomorrow if my new flip camera comes. Continuous phonation and easy onsets are important and require intense practice. Please e-mail me with any questions. Also, SLPs on LI, please e-mail me if I can provide any inservices to your districts. tks Lori

Two teen testimonials of teens who stutter

I would like to share two stories of two teens, one a male (age 14), the other a female (age 17). These two teenagers are very different but share stuttering in common and the pain that often accompanies it. They both came to me with low self esteem due to the fears of stuttering and being perceived as different. I asked the first teen whom I will call Robert to write a blurb how speech therapy has helped him. I remember Robert having a difficult time expressing himself last Feb. As the months went by, I saw a young man come out of his shell. He started to accept the fact that he stuttered, but wanted to improve. He was and is motivated to this day. If he had difficulty with the "B" sound, he would go home and practice that sound all week. When he was afraid to answer the phone, he pushed himself to answer it anyway until the fear subsided. He never stopped practicing with his friends and family. This is what he wrote (12/09):

"When I started speech therapy last February of 2009, I was a moderate stutterer. Before I started speech therapy, I felt really different compared to other people because of the way I talked. But after a few months, I got new tools to control my stuttering. I started seeing results immediately and have been improving ever since. It's not fun to see people giving you a strange face like you have two heads or have people talking about you. I started seeing that in school and it actually made my stuttering worse. But with these tools, I have been able to speak more fluently and raise my confidence. I don't know where I would be without speech therapy."

The next story is about a young woman who will be attending college next year. I am going to post her college essay on my website soon so stay posted. It is called Speechless and it is a gem worth reading. This is what she wrote in my holiday card:

" Thank you so much for helping with my speech for the past 3 months. That's pretty much a Hanukah gift in itself. You've made me much more comfortable in any type of speech situation and have really made me comfortable in my own skin also. You're an amazing teacher and I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Thanks again and I'll be looking forward to another great year of speech class with you."

Amy and her parents are very proud of her accomplishments as I am of her. She just got a job which involves answering phones and practices her fluency tools. She is a wonderful communicator and I know she will have a successful fashion career ahead of her.

I hope these stories give hope to all who stutter, especially teens and their families. Both were realistic in their goals. They weren't looking for perfect fluency and knew they had to keep practicing. They were on a journey and still are. They role played situation after situation until they were able to speak in front of others and on the phone. Everyone who stutters knows the look Robert talked about above. The look when someone who stutters opens their mouth and the words won't come out. Facing the looks of the listener's bewilderment, silent inquiry as to what possibly could be wrong with this person and confusion is devastating. These teens went one step further and educated their listener and the world on what stuttering is. It is a communication disorder, but it doesn't define us. I say more power to them and I applaud their efforts. Happy and Healthy Holiday to all. Thank you for reading and I welcome your comments. Peace to all in the coming year. Lori

Self Esteem and stuttering

What is self esteem? I read this from the link: www.health.org/kid/feeling/emotion -under "What is Self-Esteem?" (The Story of Self-Esteem). It says "Self-Esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact). It's not about thinking you're perfect-because nobody is-but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted."
I like this definition. It's what I work on besides fluency therapy. No, I am not a psychologist, but I have taken courses in cognitive psychology and feel it is a vital piece in fluency therapy. I don't believe kids or teens (or adults for that matter) can really improve their fluency without a great deal of self esteem. What do you think?

Stuttering was difficult for me when I was young. I didn't feel what I had to say was important. Why? I don't know. I have a father who praised me constantly. My fluency finally improved as an adult when I thought I was worthy to take my time to use tools and be listened to. How wonderful for me as a speech pathologist to hear from parents that they went to their child's parent teacher conferences and the teacher told them their child volunmeers in class to speak out loud, not allowing stuttering to stop them. How great it is to hear they have been talking more fluently outside the clinic room while exhibiting wonderful self esteem. So proud of all these kids and teens I work with and everyone else who stutters for having courage to believe in yourself and follow your dreams.

Six year old student who stutters on LI-Lidcombe program

I started treating a six year old boy several months ago for speech therapy. He stutters and had tried other therapies since age 3 with little success. Interestingly, his mother had been told that once her son reached age 6, the emotional impact of stuttering would begin. Her question was, Is the age of 6 too late to improve fluency and reduce the negative impact? My answer was absolutely not. We have done a modified Lidcombe Program and this child is doing beautifully. He responds to positive praise and his fluency has increased as well as his ability to establsh eye contact. He is starting to self correct and is speaking with increased confidence. His mom loves the parent involvement piece and emphasis on learning in a fun way. Has anyone else had success with a Lidcombe approach at the age of 6? I highly recommend it and am glad the mom pursued it.

Long Island Stuttering Story-Preschooler age 4-Lidcombe

Today I discharged a 4 year old boy from CPSE for stuttering. We followed the Lidcombe method for early childhood stuttering. It took 18 weeks and he is no longer stuttering. Parents were very involved and this program yielded great success. This child started out with whole word repetitions, part word repetitions, and avoiding eye contact. We worked on verbal praise and self correction. I highly recommend researching this program. I accept private pay and CPSE for early childhood stuttering.