Can we make a 9 year old go for stuttering therapy?-Part 1

About 4 years ago I was treating a wonderful nine year old girl I will call Dori. (not her real name).  Dori was discharged from speech therapy in school because her SLP said she hadn't noticed any dysfluencies in the speech room.  Dori was thrilled to not be pulled out of class anymore for speech therapy.  Her parents brought her to me because she was stuttering significantly at home. Dori later admitted that she became a pro at hiding her stuttering in speech in school.  She was bright and could easily subsitute words.

Dori was approximately 33% dysfluent in my speech sessions (this was an average over 5 sessions).
She presented with whole word repetitions, part word repeitions and laryngeal blocks. She also displayed lip tremors.  At the end of 4 months, Dori's fluency had increased dramatically as did her eye contact and communication skills (we worked on these too).  She was giving oral presentations in front of the class and tried out for the school play.  One day, Dori asked me why she still had to come to speech therapy .  She was adorable and trying not to hurt my feelings. She explained that she enjoyed our sessions and the fact they were fun, but she was happy how she spoke.  She said her friends didn't care that she stuttered and she spoke all the time. In fact, her teacher called her parents reporting that she was disrupting the class by talking to her friends often.  (This was actually music to all of our ears). I brought her parents in for the next session to talk about progress and whether she should continue. Dori's parents were torn.  They thought she had progressed and was doing great, but they could not let go of the dream of total fluency.  I think we resolved this conflict in a positive and healthyy way.  This blog post will be continued at week's end, but I would love to hear how other parents, grad students or speech paths. have resolved this issue.  What do we do as professionals when a family wants perfect fluency and the child is happy with the progress made? Please share your thoughts with me. tks Lori

Two teen testimonials of teens who stutter

I would like to share two stories of two teens, one a male (age 14), the other a female (age 17). These two teenagers are very different but share stuttering in common and the pain that often accompanies it. They both came to me with low self esteem due to the fears of stuttering and being perceived as different. I asked the first teen whom I will call Robert to write a blurb how speech therapy has helped him. I remember Robert having a difficult time expressing himself last Feb. As the months went by, I saw a young man come out of his shell. He started to accept the fact that he stuttered, but wanted to improve. He was and is motivated to this day. If he had difficulty with the "B" sound, he would go home and practice that sound all week. When he was afraid to answer the phone, he pushed himself to answer it anyway until the fear subsided. He never stopped practicing with his friends and family. This is what he wrote (12/09):

"When I started speech therapy last February of 2009, I was a moderate stutterer. Before I started speech therapy, I felt really different compared to other people because of the way I talked. But after a few months, I got new tools to control my stuttering. I started seeing results immediately and have been improving ever since. It's not fun to see people giving you a strange face like you have two heads or have people talking about you. I started seeing that in school and it actually made my stuttering worse. But with these tools, I have been able to speak more fluently and raise my confidence. I don't know where I would be without speech therapy."

The next story is about a young woman who will be attending college next year. I am going to post her college essay on my website soon so stay posted. It is called Speechless and it is a gem worth reading. This is what she wrote in my holiday card:

" Thank you so much for helping with my speech for the past 3 months. That's pretty much a Hanukah gift in itself. You've made me much more comfortable in any type of speech situation and have really made me comfortable in my own skin also. You're an amazing teacher and I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Thanks again and I'll be looking forward to another great year of speech class with you."

Amy and her parents are very proud of her accomplishments as I am of her. She just got a job which involves answering phones and practices her fluency tools. She is a wonderful communicator and I know she will have a successful fashion career ahead of her.

I hope these stories give hope to all who stutter, especially teens and their families. Both were realistic in their goals. They weren't looking for perfect fluency and knew they had to keep practicing. They were on a journey and still are. They role played situation after situation until they were able to speak in front of others and on the phone. Everyone who stutters knows the look Robert talked about above. The look when someone who stutters opens their mouth and the words won't come out. Facing the looks of the listener's bewilderment, silent inquiry as to what possibly could be wrong with this person and confusion is devastating. These teens went one step further and educated their listener and the world on what stuttering is. It is a communication disorder, but it doesn't define us. I say more power to them and I applaud their efforts. Happy and Healthy Holiday to all. Thank you for reading and I welcome your comments. Peace to all in the coming year. Lori

Teens and Stuttering

Happy Chanukah to all my friends who celebrate Chanukah. May the lights of the chanukah menorah shine brightly in your lives.

Thank you for all the beautuful notes from my teens who wrote how their fluency improved as well as their self esteem. What a wonderful holiday gift to not let stuttering control you and to be able to talk to your friends and in class! So wonderful to hear.

Also, looking to start a Suffolk County practice group for teens and adults who stutter. Please contact me. tks Lori

Self Esteem and stuttering

What is self esteem? I read this from the link: www.health.org/kid/feeling/emotion -under "What is Self-Esteem?" (The Story of Self-Esteem). It says "Self-Esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact). It's not about thinking you're perfect-because nobody is-but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted."
I like this definition. It's what I work on besides fluency therapy. No, I am not a psychologist, but I have taken courses in cognitive psychology and feel it is a vital piece in fluency therapy. I don't believe kids or teens (or adults for that matter) can really improve their fluency without a great deal of self esteem. What do you think?

Stuttering was difficult for me when I was young. I didn't feel what I had to say was important. Why? I don't know. I have a father who praised me constantly. My fluency finally improved as an adult when I thought I was worthy to take my time to use tools and be listened to. How wonderful for me as a speech pathologist to hear from parents that they went to their child's parent teacher conferences and the teacher told them their child volunmeers in class to speak out loud, not allowing stuttering to stop them. How great it is to hear they have been talking more fluently outside the clinic room while exhibiting wonderful self esteem. So proud of all these kids and teens I work with and everyone else who stutters for having courage to believe in yourself and follow your dreams.

Long Island Stuttering Connection-Teen practice group

We had a great practice group last week for teens who stutter ranging in age from 10 to 17. We practiced introductions, public speaking skills and spend time getting to know one another. It was led by Lori Melnitsky, a speech pathologist who overcame a severe stuttering disorder. We are looking forward to having it again soon. Teens practiced easy onsets, breathing, connecting words together while offering encouragement and support. Of course we ate munchkins as well.

To the parent of a child who stutters-

How difficult is it to watch your child struggle? It is tough. However, I have found over the many years of working with people who stutter, if you really sit back and listen to the content of what people say, you almost forget about the stuttering. Isn't it interesting that once a child feels more comfortable speaking, his or her fluency usually increases as does his or her ability to use their tools? What can parents do?

1. Let their child know they are accepted no matter what they say.
2. Establish eye contact.
3. Realize the best gift you can give your child is unconditional acceptance and love.
4. Remember all the wonderful qualities your child has.
5. Give them speech therapy.
6. Be patient with progress.
7. Surround your child with others who stutter so they don't feel alone.
8. Help them practice.
9. Hug them daily.
10.Praise them often.

Marital bliss-Does it make a difference in stuttering recovery?

Tonight I spent the evening with my parents and brother and sister n law. My father stuttered severely as a child and up until age 40 or so. I was talking to my father as my mother was involved in an intense conversation with my sister n law. I was talking to my father about a stuttering issue as I can only talk to another person who stutters. He all of a sudden inquired of my mother if his stuttering bothered her when they were dating ( he was 16, she was 14). She hesitated for a moment and said she didn't really remember. She then stated that it might of but she probably liked the fact that he let her talk. My mom is a talker. My dad become a talker in the last 15 years or so. She stated she was so happy for him that he could say what he wanted now. I was thinking that my dad never received fluency therapy. He never talked about stuttering when he was young nor did his family. His parents were immigrants. He is a pharmacist and stuttering did not impact his career or family decisions. Why not? What makes him different than others? I welcome others feedback as to why some are so affected by stuttering and others not. BTW-My parents are married over 49 years.

Love Happens-A movie with Jennifer Anniston

Last night my husband and I saw "Love Happens". It is about a man whose wife dies in a car crash with him at the wheel. He then writes a book about how to deal with death. The only problem is that he doesn't follow his own advice. He doesn't deal with his own loss. I won't spoil the ending and tell you what happens.

What I love about what I do (not to toot my own horn) is that I practice what I preach. I have gone down the path and in some ways my first client was my self.

I feel I can only be at my best when a child who stutters sits in front of me with the sadness in his eyes that only a person who stutters knows. A voice reaching from within to get out. Frustration at not being able to say what they want.

Again it is so important to build self esteem, practice in baby steps at the same time constantly encouraging responsibility, honestly and pride. It was interesting how the man in the movie really seem to care about others, but the denial was burning him up inside. Only when he learned to be honest with his feelings did he start to heal. The same with stuttering. Although fluency tools are encouraged, you also need the ability to face your fears and conquer the obstacles. Then and only then you will lead to recovery.

Teens who Stutter

Hi-
I wanted to let everyone know about our next teen meeting (TWST) of the National Stuttering Association on Wed. July 15, 2009 at 7:30 pm in the Salzman Center at Hofstra University. Please e-mail me for more information Lori@allislandspeech.com or call 516-776-0184. This is a great place to meet others who stutter and/or practice your fluency tools.

Stuttering Education

Spreading stuttering awareness throughout the schools!! I went into Mattlin Middle School in Plainview, NY to promote National Stuttering Awareness Week (which was May 11 to May 17). I talked about the importance of early intervention for preschoolers who stutter, school aged stuttering and the importance of following your dreams in life. I spoke to 50 bright and wonderful children and their teachers. A few of them knew people who stutter. I never talked in this middle school. My daughter attends Mattlin and I graduated from the same school district. I never thought I would be so fluent or comfortable talking in front of a crowd. I never ever raised my hand in class or participated when I was younger. I sat with my head down and prayed no one would notice me. I am happy to say this was a very positive experience!! I have to thank the National Stuttering Association for helping me for overcoming my fear of public speaking.

So kids, always follow your heart and dreams. I overcame a severe stuttering problem to be a speech pathologist. I still stutter but use fluency shaping tools and stuttering education to be as fluent as I can be. I want to also thank my daughters who encouraged me to do this and for supporting me. They make me proud and give me strength. I also want to thank my daughter's teachers who realized the importance of stuttering awareness and promoting tolerance. I would like to continue this at local schools and universities!! Hope to hear from everyone soon!