Stuttering goals and New Years Resolutions-Suggestions for realistic goals

Just recently I was reading an old diary of mine. On almost every page I wrote that I hoped I woke up the next morning and my stuttering would disappear. I wondered if I stayed up all night and prayed if I would wake up fluent the next morning. On New Years Eve, I would write my New Year's resolutions, which included I will find a way to stop stuttering this year so I could be free of the talking jail I lived in. I just wanted to say what I wanted to without struggling. I used to wonder what would that feel like? Would it change my personality? The truth is I was a teenager and my goals were too huge and unrealistic. I needed a speech pathologist who specialized in fluency. I needed to meet other teens who stuttered. (I did find some educated SLPs in my 20's who I will always be grateful to and taught me so much.)

I would like to share with you realistic goals to work on your stuttering. As I have said before, stranger things have happened and you can be free of the stuttering bondage. Here are some realistic goals to set. I am planning on writing goals with my clients as of the first of the year.

1. To find a speech pathologist who specializes in stuttering/fluency therapy.
2. To learn at least two new tools to improve fluency.
3. Learn to breath correctly with the help of a stuttering expert. Start by sitting in a chair and putting your hand on your stomach (below your diaphram). Breathing from your shoulders or while raising your shoulders will cause tension and tension leads to stuttering. Feel your diaphram expand.
4. Try and go into your first word easy.
5. Connect your words together.
6. Join facebook-The Long Island Stuttering Connection to connect with other pws.
7. Seek out a stuttering specialist. Some, like me, offer group therapy.
8. Believe in yourself. Even if you have had prior speech therapy and you felt it wasn't successful. Don't give up. Parents-never ever give up on your child-even if they don't seem motivated. Chances are they haven't found the appropriate person to work with.
9. Accept the fact that you stutter but don't give up on improving fluency. You have no idea how severely I stutttered. There were times I could not get a word out. I am grateful for the support and fluency therapy I have received in my life. I still do at times, but the fear of talking is gone (which I think added years to my life)
10. Post a comment on my blog and let me know how I can help you.
11. If you are a teen and are unsure how to decrease stuttering, have your parents contact me. I have had success with teens who stutter and have a great practice group. We have fun and use tools. (the adults have fun too!!)

Most importantly, my best wishes for a happy and healthy 2010. May the economy recover and we all find improved fluency, communication, confidence,good health and peace in our lives. Please post any questions and/or comments. I love knowing others are reading my blog.

Two teen testimonials of teens who stutter

I would like to share two stories of two teens, one a male (age 14), the other a female (age 17). These two teenagers are very different but share stuttering in common and the pain that often accompanies it. They both came to me with low self esteem due to the fears of stuttering and being perceived as different. I asked the first teen whom I will call Robert to write a blurb how speech therapy has helped him. I remember Robert having a difficult time expressing himself last Feb. As the months went by, I saw a young man come out of his shell. He started to accept the fact that he stuttered, but wanted to improve. He was and is motivated to this day. If he had difficulty with the "B" sound, he would go home and practice that sound all week. When he was afraid to answer the phone, he pushed himself to answer it anyway until the fear subsided. He never stopped practicing with his friends and family. This is what he wrote (12/09):

"When I started speech therapy last February of 2009, I was a moderate stutterer. Before I started speech therapy, I felt really different compared to other people because of the way I talked. But after a few months, I got new tools to control my stuttering. I started seeing results immediately and have been improving ever since. It's not fun to see people giving you a strange face like you have two heads or have people talking about you. I started seeing that in school and it actually made my stuttering worse. But with these tools, I have been able to speak more fluently and raise my confidence. I don't know where I would be without speech therapy."

The next story is about a young woman who will be attending college next year. I am going to post her college essay on my website soon so stay posted. It is called Speechless and it is a gem worth reading. This is what she wrote in my holiday card:

" Thank you so much for helping with my speech for the past 3 months. That's pretty much a Hanukah gift in itself. You've made me much more comfortable in any type of speech situation and have really made me comfortable in my own skin also. You're an amazing teacher and I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Thanks again and I'll be looking forward to another great year of speech class with you."

Amy and her parents are very proud of her accomplishments as I am of her. She just got a job which involves answering phones and practices her fluency tools. She is a wonderful communicator and I know she will have a successful fashion career ahead of her.

I hope these stories give hope to all who stutter, especially teens and their families. Both were realistic in their goals. They weren't looking for perfect fluency and knew they had to keep practicing. They were on a journey and still are. They role played situation after situation until they were able to speak in front of others and on the phone. Everyone who stutters knows the look Robert talked about above. The look when someone who stutters opens their mouth and the words won't come out. Facing the looks of the listener's bewilderment, silent inquiry as to what possibly could be wrong with this person and confusion is devastating. These teens went one step further and educated their listener and the world on what stuttering is. It is a communication disorder, but it doesn't define us. I say more power to them and I applaud their efforts. Happy and Healthy Holiday to all. Thank you for reading and I welcome your comments. Peace to all in the coming year. Lori

Covert Stuttering

I want to recommned a terrific, insightful and honest blog started by a woman named Pam Mertz, whom I first met a National Stuttering Association conference a few years back. She started a blog on covert stuttering ( and a yahoo group) that has taught me so much about covert stuttering. Although I stuttered too severely early on to be called a covert person who stutters, I was always trying to deny the fact that I stuttered. It was only when I became truly honest with my self that I was able to accept myself and use fluency tools. Hence, my fluency dramatically improved as did my self acceptance.

Read it, you will be hooked:
www.stutterrockstar.wordpress.com

Can stuttering be cured?

CAN STUTTERING BE CURED? NO
CAN STUTTERING LEAD TO IMPROVED FLUENCY? ABSOLUTELY, BUT NOTICE I DID NOT SAY TOTAL FLUENCY.

LAST NIGHT, MY SISTER N LAW (WHO IS LIKE A SISTER I NEVER HAD AND MY GOOD FRIEND) ASKED ME WITH GUARDED SKEPTICISM, IF STUTTERING COULD BE CURED? I WAS TALKING NON-STOP TO MY FAMILY THAT I DIDN'T GIVE HER A GREAT ANSWER AND REALIZED THAT MAYBE I HADN'T EDUCATED MY FAMILY THE BEST ON WHAT CAN AND CANNOT BE DONE WITH STUTTERING.

I WANT TO THANK MY SISTER N LAW (LORI-WHO SHARES MY NAME) FOR REMINDING ME HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO EDUCATE PEOPLE ON STUTTERING AND THERAPY.

HERE GOES MY REVIEW FOR MY FAMILY AND THE WORLD:

1. FOR PRESCHOOL CHILDREN, APPROX. 20% OF CHILDREN EXPERIENCE PERIODS OF DEVELOPMENTAL DYSFLUENCIES OR SIMPLY PUT "STUTTERING". THERE ARE CERTAIN CRITERIA USED TO DETERMINE WHICH CHILDREN SHOULD START THERAPY. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT 80% OF THESE CHILDREN WILL OUTGROW STUTTERING ON THEIR OWN. HOWEVER, I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THERE IS NO DEFINITIVE WAY OF KNOWING WHO WILL OUTGROW STUTTERING ON THEIR OWN. IS IT WORTH THE RISK OF WAITING, NO!!! I AM A PERSON WHO STUTTERS AND MY CHILDHOOD YEARS WERE DIFFICULT. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PEDIATRICIAN OR SCHOOL DISTRICT TELLS YOU, DO NOT WAIT. FIND A SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WHO DEALS WITH STUTTERING AND ONE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. THE STUTTERING FOUNDATION OF AMERICA HAS A WONDERFUL REFERRAL LIST AND TERRIFIC RESOURCES FOR PEOPLE WHO STUTTER (WWW.STUTTERINGHELP.ORG)

WHAT HELPS PRESCHOOLERS? MODIFYING THE ENVIRONMENT, LIDCOMBE THERAPY (VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH RESEARCH BACKING IT). IN MANY CASES, PRESCHOOL STUTTERING CAN BE ELIMINATED. SO, WHY WAIT? MY WEBSITE HAS GREAT INFORMATION WWW.ALLISLANDSPEECH.COM

2. CAN SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN BE HELPED? YES. WE HAVE TO DETERMINE SEVERAL FACTORS. USUALLY PAST AGE 6, STUTTERING CAN'T BE ELIMINATED BUT CHILDREN CAN BE TAUGHT CORRECT BREATHING, CONTINUOUS SPEAKING AND WAYS NOT TO BE EMBARRASSED BY STUTTERING. IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOT LET SPEAKING FEARS DEVELOP AT THIS AGE.

3. TEENS AND ADULTS-I PREFER INTENSIVE THERAPY AT THIS AGE. I USE A FLUENCY SHAPING APPROACH WITH COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL ASPECTS BUILT IN. I MYSELF HAVE HAD SUCCESS AS I AM MOSTLY FLUENT AND HAVE SUCCESS WITH MANY MANY CLIENTS. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT, OFFER IT AT MY PRACTICE. I HAVE ALSO DONE THIS APPROACH WITH OUT OF STATE AND INTERNATIONAL CLIENTS. (TELETHERAPY). I USE WHAT I TEACH.

ANY QUESTIONS OR IF YOU CAN'T POST, PLEASE E-MAIL ME DIRECTLY AT LORI@ALLISLANDSPEECH.COM