Covert Stuttering

I want to recommned a terrific, insightful and honest blog started by a woman named Pam Mertz, whom I first met a National Stuttering Association conference a few years back. She started a blog on covert stuttering ( and a yahoo group) that has taught me so much about covert stuttering. Although I stuttered too severely early on to be called a covert person who stutters, I was always trying to deny the fact that I stuttered. It was only when I became truly honest with my self that I was able to accept myself and use fluency tools. Hence, my fluency dramatically improved as did my self acceptance.

Read it, you will be hooked:
www.stutterrockstar.wordpress.com

The hardest thing about being a parent is.............

The hardest thing about being a parent is letting your children find their own way. I wrote a previous post on an interesting stuttering situation with a teen. My 15 year old daughter, who does not stutter, has been working so hard in school. She is a bright girl and I am proud of her, but as a mother can't help worrying about her lack of sleep and constant studying. I know many parents reading this are laughing saying how can you worry about a child studying too much??? I guess I don't want to see her stressed out at a young age. I know she will do well but want her to enjoy the social parts of life too. So I have had to back off and let her be. Not easy. It is the same when you provide speech therapy for your child and you think they aren't trying hard to be fluent. Sometimes you have to back off and let them find their way. Start by asking them what they want out of speech therapy? How does stuttering impact them? How do THEY feel when they have practiced for hours and the tools don't seem to be effective? Maybe reflect, oh that must be so frustrating for you. How can I help? Do you want to write this down and talk to your speech therapist about this? Then once you do this you can talk about how to improve the situation. I don't know all the answers about parenting, but I know PWS need encouragement, follow up, understanding, practice and support.

*****Also, there is an interesting blog post on Sept. 24 by Pam Mertz, a covert PWS. Check it out.
www.stutterrockstar.wordpress.com

Open the suitcase and unpack-Stuttering baggage

I was just reading a post on a wonderful private practice list serve for speech pathologists. Someone described that an adult woman "stutterer" had been in therapy for years and wasn't progressing. It got me thinking how difficult it is to try and talk fluently. Another SLP wrote back about "change" and how difficult it is try and change the way you speak. In essence, as much as one might not like stuttering it defines them. So how did I do it?

How did I overcome a severe stuttering disorder? Do I have the magic? The answer is "no". I did it through unpeeling layers and layers of emotional baggage. I had to unpack the suitcase and lighten the baggage, BUT it started with intensive fluency shaping therapy and an intense desire to decrease stuttering. I remember being asked many years ago at a convention if there was a magic pill to be fluent, would I take it? My answer was always Yes, Yes, Yes!!

It takes years of practice, persistence, continuous speech therapy to decrease stuttering. The journey is long but has been worth it to me!!! Of course it would have been better to have worked on this baggage at the age of 6, but I didn't so I had to as an adult. Also, I have to say my parents always had the same expectations of me that they did for my brother, who does not stutter. I was never perceived as a stutterer in their eyes, so their support really helped me towards my goals.

Some words of encouragement if you find your fluency tools are not working:
Ask yourself:
Is this a feared situation?
Have I masssed practiced it?
If I have not had success before, why am I beating myself up now?
Am I too hard on myself?
What specifically in this situation is causing me so much fear?
Do I need more practice coordinating the muslce movements necessary for smooth connected speech?
Am I taking on residual air or comfortable diaphragmatic breathing?
Do I need the support of a speech pathologist?
Am I taking the time needed to go for speech therapy and practice?

Hope this helps. Please e-mail me at Lori@allislandspeech.com or visit my website at www.allislandspeech.com. Also, if you are a grad student, please contact me if you have an interest in stuttering. Have a great day. Thanks for helping me unpack and spread the word that help is available. Also, look for my upcoming publication of "Teens and Stuttering" in a local parent magazine.

Lost in Silence

Recently I was asked how I got over avoiding the phone and other fears that I had. It is so hard to answer that because it was a combination of things. People have asked if I provide therapy that deals with this management of fears. Yes, of course I do. I have lived this life. I was so lost in silence for years and felt like I was failing myself. I stopped complaining about practicing and just did it. I made myself answer the phone, speak in meetings and talk to doctors. I stopped filling my gas tank up and starting saying "fill it up" (as long it wasn't more money for full serve). In other words, I mattered and I didn't want to be lost in silence anymore. Was it easy? NO!! Did it happen overnight? NO!!! It was pure torture and many times I wanted to run away. However, I am here to tell you it got easier and it will for you too. It's important to know others who stutter. I have known my friend Lisa for almost 30 years. She stutters also and she has been my rock!! She has always inspired me and we have always been able to call each other if we have a bad day or to practice.

I would love to hear from all of you regarding your fears and stuttering.

Also, I have availability for two teens to work on fluency management together. I find this is cost effective and helps with practice. As most of you know, I am trying hard to reach out to the younger population. Please e-mail if interested.