Adult stuttering Intensive Nov. 8th

Adult Stuttering Fluency Intensive Sunday Nov. 8th 6:30 to 8:30
Contact Lori@allislandspeech.com for more information.

Love Happens-A movie with Jennifer Anniston

Last night my husband and I saw "Love Happens". It is about a man whose wife dies in a car crash with him at the wheel. He then writes a book about how to deal with death. The only problem is that he doesn't follow his own advice. He doesn't deal with his own loss. I won't spoil the ending and tell you what happens.

What I love about what I do (not to toot my own horn) is that I practice what I preach. I have gone down the path and in some ways my first client was my self.

I feel I can only be at my best when a child who stutters sits in front of me with the sadness in his eyes that only a person who stutters knows. A voice reaching from within to get out. Frustration at not being able to say what they want.

Again it is so important to build self esteem, practice in baby steps at the same time constantly encouraging responsibility, honestly and pride. It was interesting how the man in the movie really seem to care about others, but the denial was burning him up inside. Only when he learned to be honest with his feelings did he start to heal. The same with stuttering. Although fluency tools are encouraged, you also need the ability to face your fears and conquer the obstacles. Then and only then you will lead to recovery.

Do we push or let it fall? Stuttering?

Don't attempt fluency transfer unless we agree!!!

Earlier today I had a wonderful conversation with my 11 year old daughter. Leah has been very verbal since age two and has always appeared older than she is, which made it difficult in elem. school. I have mentioned before that when Leah was young, she had reading difficulties. In first grade she was pulled out for reading. Many of the kids were receiving services at that young age so there really wasn't an obvious stigma attached. It took me months to get her help because she was only slightly below average in their eyes, however, I knew she was struggling and her self esteem would eventually suffer. She was quickly discharged after a few months and the following year they determined she still had difficulty reading at grade level. At this point only a few kids were being pulled for extra help and Leah knew it. It reminded me when I used to get pulled out of class for speech therapy. I wanted to hide. She also had a teacher who insisted she had to read out loud. I don't have to tell any of you how her confidence suffered. In fact, it suffered so much so that they felt she might have a learning disability. Fortunately, my husband and I knew what was happening to her confidence and how much it was impacting her academic performance. We struggled to get her private reading help, which was financially difficult because my husband had been laid off at the time. We found a wonderful reading teacher who encouraged and helped her. The following year, Leah had a wonderful, fabulous teacher in 3rd grade who was able to see her for who she really was. Leah no longer required reading help, excelled, wanted to raise her hand and read out loud. This same child who seemed so halted by how she was being perceived all of sudden ran for class vice president and won. She is now in sixth grade and is an advanced reader. I am so proud of her for working hard and never giving up. She also taught me how important it is to encourage everyone I work with and the effect it has on their success.

So, why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because the same thing happens with kids and adults who stutter. They often don't receive enough encouragement, support and success to improve fluency. It takes hard work to do this as it took hard work for Leah to become a better reader. It didn't happen overnight. It took years and constant encouragement. Becoming fluent in a therapy room is a fairly simple. As Pam commented, it is being out in the real world when you have to deal with time constraints, educating others about stuttering, and coordinating all the components needed to communicate effectively. BUT I am telling you it can be done if this is what you choose. The younger one is, the easier it is,to at least change the thought process and not be ashamed of stuttering. Remember, we all excel with encouragement, praise and success behind us. It is human nature!

ok, how come everyone is telling me they don't know how to post? Please help me so I can help you. Isn't there a post option??

Focus and Stuttering

Last night I went out with 17 sorority sisters from my alumni Hofstra University. I hadn't seen many of them for 24 years. Long time. I was a little anxious because I find large crowds more difficult to talk in. I had a great time but noticed myself stuttering and blocking more than usual. I don't think it helped that I had diet cokes with caffeine (I find caffeine makes my stutttering worse). About half way through the dinner I excused myself and went to the ladies room. I stood in the hall for a few seconds and practiced some full breath breathing. I tried to envision the situation in my mind and how I would use easy onsets. Interestingly, I hadn't seen many of these friends in the last ten years when I have achieved a higher level of fluency and confidence with stuttering. I had to remind myself that I had the controls. I wasn't embarrassed about stuttering, but felt I wasn't saying what I wanted. I went back to the table and really focused. My speech became more controlled. I paused more and initiated conversation. What did I learn from this? I still stutter and have the potential to stutter with struggle. I have to focus on my tools, not be ashamed of stuttering and continue to practice. I woke up this morning and knew I would be in a similar situation today at the autism walk (great fundraiser). This time I practiced more in the morning and felt much more controlled. This is a good lesson for all of us. We still stutter, but should never give up. Would love to hear more success stories. tks for reading. Bye for now.

Fluency Coaches

Atttention all school aged children 9 and older and teens who stutter. We are now starting fluency coaches. This is where a child or teen who has been in speech therapy with me for 4 months or more becomes a mentor to another child starting out. It will help with fluency practice, confidence in speaking in general and support. We will be assigning our first coaches this week. Look forward to having more teens and children who stutter join this program. Please post a comment if you have any thoughts or questions on stuttering in general.

The hardest thing about being a parent is.............

The hardest thing about being a parent is letting your children find their own way. I wrote a previous post on an interesting stuttering situation with a teen. My 15 year old daughter, who does not stutter, has been working so hard in school. She is a bright girl and I am proud of her, but as a mother can't help worrying about her lack of sleep and constant studying. I know many parents reading this are laughing saying how can you worry about a child studying too much??? I guess I don't want to see her stressed out at a young age. I know she will do well but want her to enjoy the social parts of life too. So I have had to back off and let her be. Not easy. It is the same when you provide speech therapy for your child and you think they aren't trying hard to be fluent. Sometimes you have to back off and let them find their way. Start by asking them what they want out of speech therapy? How does stuttering impact them? How do THEY feel when they have practiced for hours and the tools don't seem to be effective? Maybe reflect, oh that must be so frustrating for you. How can I help? Do you want to write this down and talk to your speech therapist about this? Then once you do this you can talk about how to improve the situation. I don't know all the answers about parenting, but I know PWS need encouragement, follow up, understanding, practice and support.

*****Also, there is an interesting blog post on Sept. 24 by Pam Mertz, a covert PWS. Check it out.
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