Lost in Silence

Recently I was asked how I got over avoiding the phone and other fears that I had. It is so hard to answer that because it was a combination of things. People have asked if I provide therapy that deals with this management of fears. Yes, of course I do. I have lived this life. I was so lost in silence for years and felt like I was failing myself. I stopped complaining about practicing and just did it. I made myself answer the phone, speak in meetings and talk to doctors. I stopped filling my gas tank up and starting saying "fill it up" (as long it wasn't more money for full serve). In other words, I mattered and I didn't want to be lost in silence anymore. Was it easy? NO!! Did it happen overnight? NO!!! It was pure torture and many times I wanted to run away. However, I am here to tell you it got easier and it will for you too. It's important to know others who stutter. I have known my friend Lisa for almost 30 years. She stutters also and she has been my rock!! She has always inspired me and we have always been able to call each other if we have a bad day or to practice.

I would love to hear from all of you regarding your fears and stuttering.

Also, I have availability for two teens to work on fluency management together. I find this is cost effective and helps with practice. As most of you know, I am trying hard to reach out to the younger population. Please e-mail if interested.

National Stuttering Support Groups-Kids and Teens

Hi all-
Dr. Jason Davidow and I are trying to figure out the best day to start our support and practice group for kids and teens who stutter. Any suggestions would be appreciated. We are also in need of parents to help and serve as a co-leader. Please e-mail me if you are interested. Our first meeting is June 4, 2009 at Hofstra University. All teens who stutter and their families are welcome. Jason and I are both SLPs who stutter. Together we are strong!!! Please contact Lori at Lori@allislandspeech.com if interested.

Saying Your Name and Reducing Anxiety

Many of you have e-mailed me directly sharing your experiences saying your name. I want to thank all of you for sharing with me and being so open. Many have you said you run out of the room for fear of sounding different or being perceived as "stupid". I hear you and have been there. So what do we do about this?

I think we have to acknowledge that fear is an emotion. It is a very real emotion, but it can be paralyzing. You really need your fluency tools in these situations to not stutter, but the anxiety has to be addressed to allow the tools to be able to be effectively used. I would start by asking yourself how you feel after you flee? Do you feel better or do you still have that dreaded anxiety? Try and disassociate yourself from the event. In other words, visualize the event and remove yourself as if you were a spectator watching. Wouldn't you want that person to stay and be a part of the group? Would you laugh at someone else if they said they stutter and to bear with them as they try and use their fluency tools? People laugh out of ignorance. They don't know about stuttering and many people have never met anyone who stutters. I am not forgiving the laughter or strange expressions, but the education about stuttering may lead to empowerment on your part.